Rafts

there is a bottomless hole
in the place where no on goes
and no one knows
i have been there a million times before
where my finger tips can't feel
in the place where nothing's real
i'm not lost here, as you might think
there is nothing here that isn't me
everything, i've ever done, or said, is here to see
twiced breathed air is hard to swallow
as you wallow through your dreams
one fall leads to another, when you're looking for a fault
it's neither hot nor cold as you undress
skin deep is not enough, if you're picking through the bones
when the salt water hits, the sting will feel so good
this is not a hole for sinking, but for drifting as you float

Untitled

Is love something you find

Like a key under a rock

Or something you lose

In the laundry, like a sock

Is it something you feel

Like pain from a burn

Or something you do

Like when you listen to learn

Is love a thought

From a reoccurring dream

Or a taste

Like fresh whipped cream

Is it a word

Like something you’ve said

Or is love a book

You’re glad you’ve read

Is love a place you can reach

Should you want to go

Or is love a thing you can see or smell

Getting Married-May 27th

I don't usually indulge is such shameless self promotion of my persona life (professional live, why yes, of course), but when else can I get away with it than when I'm getting married. Therefore, I will take this moment to brag. Yes, we may be legally married, but this is the Wedding :)

First of all, we're having our ceremony and reception at the lovely Hostess House

Then we're going on an 11 day Intermediate cruise! Visit our honeyfund at Honeyfund.com, the free honeymoon registry

I"m so excited. I just have to get through this school year first :(

Poisoned

Love, your love has poisoned me
And you have used me brutally
The infection started in my eyes
Spread down my neck, like a shiver--
Down my thighs
Up into my heart
Through my every part
My veins are full of poison.

Love, your love has poisoned me
Weakened, you are all I see
Dazed, I am euphoric
Your love has made me parasitic
Starved, you're all I crave
Your love will put me in the grave
My appetites, my mind, this body
Are under your disease.

Love, your love has poisoned me
The only cure is separation
Which would kill me with its desperation.

The Conclusion

They were talking, not understanding

Going through motions long rehearsed

The words had lost their meaning

But not their function

Love is a thousand actions

But a thousand actions are not love

She said she was just tired

And he said they had seen better days

But all the days led to this one

And this one came a hundred times

Duty-bound--

The last three decades had been slow

Slow enough for her to see

Slow enough for him to know

He was not the man she chose

And she was not the woman—

Who chose him

Details, easy to ignore

Between driving children to school

And picking them up after sports

Gone now and only the sound,

The necessity of conversation left

Her kisses cold with irrelevance

His-- hot with remembrance

Together lukewarm--

From bliss born of ignorance

Love and Jealousy (from the preteen years)

Once upon a time in a far away town, in a far away time there lived two sisters who were very close. There names were Roxanne the fair and Sapphire the beautiful. And so they lived together harmoniously, growing in beauty and wisdom. But too much tranquillity soon leads to a disturbance of some sort, whether domestic or fatal you will soon see.
In the fifteenth summer of Roxanne’s existence and fourteenth of Sapphire’s a stranger “tall, dark, and handsome” came from who knows where to the sisters’ town. Now if you know anything of “small towns” you will know that there usually is only one or so desirable young men presiding in it. This particular boy was that to the sisters.
It soon became obvious that that boy, Alonso his name was, favored the latter sister over the first. Roxanne was not a treacherous, evil, or scheming girl but she felt very deeply that it should be her turn first to be in love maybe even married, after all Sapphire was still only a child. She couldn’t know what love was yet, probably he was using her for something, and poor, dear Sapphire was giving him her heart. Yes, it was up to Roxanne to make her sister see her error.
While Roxanne was feeling all this, Sapphire and Alonso were gliding along happily. They went fishing, swimming, walking. berry picking and sometimes just talking alone. They in their bliss, were unaware that Roxanne form the shadows of the trees, with narrow eyes, was watching them, trying desperately to see what her sister had that she didn’t.
It was know that Sapphire was prettier and better liked than Roxanne, because she had shining auburn hair and sparkling gray eyes, because she had a ready smile, a quick mind, and fiery spirit. While Roxanne was pretty with her shiny black hair and eyes, she was regularly moody, quiet, and serious. Even though she was friendly her sister had more of a natural charm about her. Finally deciding that this was what made Sapphire more alluring to Alonso, Roxanne sought a remedy.
Roxanne made up her mind to go to Mordred white witch of the mountain who was helpful and kind and commonly gave magic spells to those who requested them.
“Mordred, come to my aid!” Called Roxanne when she had reached her destination.
“ I am no one’s servant. I answer to no commands. My life is for not serving people like yourself! I am more than willing to help those who need it, but I will serve no one!”
“I beg your pardon, but in my urgency I had forgotten my manners. I am in great need of a spell.”
‘Very well then apology accepted. What pray tell do you need exactly?”
“You see there is man who was terribly in love with me and I with him. But an evil sorceress used her powers to make herself wonderfully perfect to him. She gave herself charm and beauty. If you would be so kind as to give me a spell that would take these things away I would be ever grateful.”
“You are surly in a predicament. I will help you.” Then Mordred began to chant “Ashkab Ingo Fronm” first slow then faster and faster, until a cloud of smoke appeared and when it cleared it left behind a smell jeweled flask.
The witch picked up the container and said
“Beware, beware. I
If thou is fibbing
Tables turned
And hair be burned
What you wished to do
Is done on you
Beware, beware!
“Thank you Mordred.” Said Roxanne as the witch disappeared.
When the witch was gone Roxanne turned and ran through the woods back to her home. Once at home Roxanne cooked up a special meal through which she might feed her sister the spell. To complete her revengeful act she invited Alonso to dinner so that he might witness the downfall of Sapphire.
After the dinner Roxanne brought out the dessert, it was a delicious chocolate cake. Roxanne new her sister could never resist a rich, sweet, chocolate cake so she made one with a red icing rose on top and she dropped the poison right in its center. She made sure she gave Sapphire the correct slice.
When Sapphire saw the rose she immediately scooped it up with her fork and ate it. Smoke swirled around her, colors flashed, a great wind blew through the front door and put out their lights. In a second the light was back. Alonso tried to rush to Sapphire but Roxanne held down in his seat with amazing strength and she said cunningly and menacingly.
“Alonso, there is your precious darling, exposed for what she really is an old, croaking hag.”
Recovering his strength he freed himself from her grasp and asked her “What have you done?”
“ I have done nothing, don’t be so hasty in your judgment.” Then softening she cried “Oh Alonso, I now how you must feel to know that the person you thought you loved was this creature in truth. But dear you still have me, I have no evil secrets no hidden lies, I am as pure and white and beautiful as fresh snow, comfort yourself with me.”
“I am not so easily fooled, Do you think I have not seen your obvious attempts to turn me from her to you. I know you have done something to her you......you treacherous witch!”
Seeing that he was in a rage she said “ I guess I’ll be leaving now, I’ll come back when you’re ready to face the truth.
When Roxanne was gone Alonso took Sapphires frail body and put her in a bed, she could hardly talk and she looked like she was eighty, but her eyes still sparkled. Alonso made sure she was comfortable then he headed for the woods in search of Mordred.
Upon arriving at Mordred’s mountain he called out “ Mordred please come to me you have made a horrible mistake.”
She appeared in a cloud of smoked and answered “ You here about that girl who asked me for a spell to make youth and charm vanish, no doubt. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her but I didn’t want to believe that such a sweet looking girl could be evil. Tell me your story.”
Roxanne the girl you speak of, has put a spell on her sister. The sister is now old, frail, and she has no sense or anything even remotely appealing about her. Please there must be something you can do.”
“I guess you do not love this sister any more, because she has lost her charm?”
“ Of course not! But I would like her to be back to normal.”
“ And if she can’t be restored you will have nothing to do with her?”
“No I will still love her, but do you not think it would be better for her to be the same person or at least the same age as she was?”
“ Yes I do. So I will help you.” Then she waved her hands and a little bottle appeared. “ This is a justice potion it will fix your girl and punish and punish the evil one. ”Mordred informed him.
“ Thank you. Tell me please, how I should use it.”
“ Pour half the bottle in the good sister’s mouth and the other half pour on the bad sister’s head. Remember not to mix up the directions. Now go!”
Alonso went. He poured half the liquid in Sapphire’s mouth and waited. Sapphire was lifted off her bed and spun around twice when she was put on the bed again she was her old self. She and Alonso kissed and did a few other things, then he told her what the witch had said and what he must do, he also asked her how he should go about finding Roxanne. Sapphire thought up a plan and Alonso carried it out.
Alonso went to a certain cabin in the woods were Sapphire told him her sister would be. Roxanne was there, so Alonso went up to the door and called.
“ Roxanne my love, I see the truth. Please come out and talk to me I am sorry for disbelieving you.’
Roxanne threw open the door and hugged him. While she hugged him he quickly poured the potion on her head. Suddenly she cried out
“Beware, beware
Tables turned
And hair be burned
What you wished to do
Is done on you
Beware, beware!”
Then she fell to the ground, she had no hair, she was old, and plain, and quite senseless. Alonso picked up the girl and carried her home to her sister.
Sapphire rushed to the bed were Alonso had put Roxanne, when she saw her she said “ My poor sister what have you done, what has been done to you?”
“ I am no more, I have done undoable things but yet they have been done and undone. My sister and my sister’s husband I am sorry”
“ Oh Roxanne I believe you. I promise I’ll go to Mordred and beg her to restore you.”
“ And you know we’re not married yet.” Chimed in Alonso.
“ But you will be it is ment to be. Sapphire don’t go to Mordred, if you wish to help me kill me, for I can not live with my self or my victims.”
“ Don’t be silly dear we forgive you, and we want you back to your old self again.”
“ I can Never be my old self again, and I can never forget what I have done, do not try to save me just let me die!” Then Roxanne turned her back to Sapphire and Alonso.
Sapphire went anyway, to Mordred and returned with a spell to restore Roxanne. When Roxanne was normal again she hugged her sister and Alonso, ate a meal with and then told them she was going for a walk by her self and not to expect her back soon. They never saw her again.
Two years later Sapphire and Alonso were married and had a daughter. They called the girl Annabelle in memory of her aunt, they dared not name her anne or roxanne in case she should have the same fate as Roxanne. They also lived in another house that Alonso had built for them because Sapphire would not raise her child in a house that had tragic memories and maybe evil spirits. In November that year they had a funeral for Roxanne. They did not know whether or not she was really dead, but she was dead to them.
“ She may not be dead you know?” Alonso told Sapphire with his arm around her, the funeral had been hard for her even though she showed no emotion.
“ Yes but I’ll still never see her again. ”She answered with tears in her eyes.
“Why you crying Mother, is you hurted?” Asked little Annabelle.
“No dear I’m fine. I’ll tell you all about this when your are older.”
Hand in hand with Sapphire carrying Annabelle they turned and walked home. Sapphire glanced back just once to see the gravestone that said “ May we meet again my sister, in this world or the next.”

Facebook Stalker

(A comment on society)

Click to stay connected
Looking at your picture
That everyone can see
Feeling like I know
Who you used to be.
Stringing together lists,
Comments, friends made to you
Trying to paint an image
That’s fast fading away
Your status-
Does not mean me.
Can’t tell who-
My network’s not that wide
Are her stats as good as mine?
Her friend list as big?
Look at my accomplishments-
My groups-
Does she compare?
You don’t know,
I’m facebook friend some-hundred-something
You haven’t clicked for so long.
Forgotten who friended who?
It wasn’t me, it was you
Didn’t even know you were on.
Check you history
It’s the very first story.

Night Terrors

Soft inhale, exhale, of breath
Peacefully as you’re asleep
Calms the fears that rise in me.
I’m alone, you’re someplace else
Just across the sheets from me.
In the dark I’m drowning.
Pulled, pushed, compressed,
Insanity is rising,
As my heart, and mind, races
With a world that spins too fast.
Knees drawn to chest, head on arms
Folded, I am self-contained.
While you sigh, tangled in sleep
Versus my rapid-fire breathing.
Insanity is rising
I want to whisper to you.
Can you hear my silent screams?
Your muted lips answer, no.
Once again I will rise up
Pushing insanity back down
And by morning I will be
Pressed against you, tamed.

Neverland Nevermore

(A farewell to childhood)

Last night I knew
He’d come no more
No more tales of pirates, Indians and fairy lore
No pixie dust
And happy-thought trust.
No tinkerbell, her golden hair
Her jaunty, taunting sneer
No mermaids, their rainbow tresses
No lost boys with their endless messes.
No hunting, fishing, fighting, fearless crowing
Tree house forts and dreamed up feasts
And, oh, no flying weightless with the stars
Or dreaming on the clouds-
The sun so near.
No creatures whispered secrets in my ear
No childhood wild and reckless
Magic free and visceral
No heady summer
Next to endless winter
And vital spring
Beside morose autumn.
No, no more of this-
Beautiful whim
But worst of all
No more him.
Gorgeous boy, with electric eyes
Who carelessly, selfishly, never dies
Who possesses all of childhood’s secrets
Forgets…
And so has no regrets
Who smells of summer woods
In fresh clean air
A manchild, without a care
His smile will break you
His laugh remake you.
When only you can wipe his tears
And only you can see his fears
When only he can light your heart
And only he your fire start
Then Neverland who never shares
Will end your priceless never-years
For Neverland loves her Peter Pan
And never-people their small man
So Peter cannot love-
Cannot grow
Cannot change-
Cannot know.
You hurt and so mature
While his childish heart remains pure
And so on that last night
Your last taste of childhood flight
Before your feet are steady
As he turns, about to wave
-But doesn’t-
He’s forgotten you already.

Untitled

They used to paint love

Rapturously on upturned faces

They used to write its praises

In sonnets of gold and gossamer.

They sung its story on harps

Sweet as angels supposed voices.

They even carved its gentle curves

In clay, and stone, and marble.

But they forgot the roses' thorns

And that Lucifer had beauty.

They didn't show the pain

That braids itself with pleasure

They didn't show the vicious side,

The jealousy, the tears.

They didn't show how love dies

Muffled, struggling

Like butterflies with torn wings

Or the pain it takes-

To carve love's curves

Romanticized, fantasized

Their works have blinded little girls

Searching for a fairyland.

Yet, beauty is only beautiful

In comparison with hideous.

Those artists of old

Should have seen-

Should have known

That love has claws when angry

Love has teeth to bite

As well as lips to kiss

And hands to touch.